Wedding Anniversary
Yesterday was my wedding anniversary--the culmination of our first year together. Some people say that the first years are the best--still others stay it's the hardest. I wonder if there is a correlation between perceptions of the first year, and divorce rates?
I'd have to say that divorce is one of the most scary things to me. I know they say the divorce rate in America is 51%, but of the people I know, it's more like 95%. In my family, my grandparents stayed together, and that's about it. I don't think I would know the key to a successful marriage if someone told it to me.
What I want to know is, in all these marriages that fell apart, at what point did they know that it just wasn't right? Was there a moment when they said "Oh, Fuck! I screwed up." Did they see it coming, or did they wake up one morning and just stop loving each other?
In those cases where one person turns out to be a completely different person--the closeted child molester, the cheater, the gay/lesbian in denial--was there something that the other person missed. Should McGreevey's wife been able to see it coming? Were there any clues that would have let Steve Letourneau realize that is wife was getting some action on the side with one of her students?
Of course marriage is the ultimate gamble--taking a chance on love and all that--but I just wonder if there is some sort of secret for keeping it all together?
As for the anniversary, it was a beautiful day, and it was nice to be able to spend it together. Unfortunately, we spent it driving, as we had to visit my mother this weekend, who is recovering quite nicely from surgery she had this week to remove a tumor in her lung.
By the time we drove all the way home, took care of the dog (who got sick from the car ride) and changed clothes, it was 9:45 on a Sunday night and all of our favorite restaurants were either closed or about to close. So, being the very flexible people we are, we decided to have our anniversary dinner at...wait for it...APPLEBEES! Fine dining at it's best! :)
After dinner, we shared half of a piece of our wedding cake. It was...okay. The icing was still about the same, but the cake was a weird texture. It wasn't still frozen or anything, but it was more like eating paper, or flavored Styrofoam than anything else. Like generic hull-less popcorn that tastes like cheese flavored air. Throughout the past year, every few months my husband would turn to me and say, "Can we eat the cake yet?" I think he was looking forward to it. I bet he was terribly disappointed. I am pretty sure the rest of the evening made up for it. :)
I'd have to say that divorce is one of the most scary things to me. I know they say the divorce rate in America is 51%, but of the people I know, it's more like 95%. In my family, my grandparents stayed together, and that's about it. I don't think I would know the key to a successful marriage if someone told it to me.
What I want to know is, in all these marriages that fell apart, at what point did they know that it just wasn't right? Was there a moment when they said "Oh, Fuck! I screwed up." Did they see it coming, or did they wake up one morning and just stop loving each other?
In those cases where one person turns out to be a completely different person--the closeted child molester, the cheater, the gay/lesbian in denial--was there something that the other person missed. Should McGreevey's wife been able to see it coming? Were there any clues that would have let Steve Letourneau realize that is wife was getting some action on the side with one of her students?
Of course marriage is the ultimate gamble--taking a chance on love and all that--but I just wonder if there is some sort of secret for keeping it all together?
As for the anniversary, it was a beautiful day, and it was nice to be able to spend it together. Unfortunately, we spent it driving, as we had to visit my mother this weekend, who is recovering quite nicely from surgery she had this week to remove a tumor in her lung.
By the time we drove all the way home, took care of the dog (who got sick from the car ride) and changed clothes, it was 9:45 on a Sunday night and all of our favorite restaurants were either closed or about to close. So, being the very flexible people we are, we decided to have our anniversary dinner at...wait for it...APPLEBEES! Fine dining at it's best! :)
After dinner, we shared half of a piece of our wedding cake. It was...okay. The icing was still about the same, but the cake was a weird texture. It wasn't still frozen or anything, but it was more like eating paper, or flavored Styrofoam than anything else. Like generic hull-less popcorn that tastes like cheese flavored air. Throughout the past year, every few months my husband would turn to me and say, "Can we eat the cake yet?" I think he was looking forward to it. I bet he was terribly disappointed. I am pretty sure the rest of the evening made up for it. :)
posted by layne @ 12:51 AM
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